I am not a blogger. I don't have the attention span for it. I've tried a little, but to be honest I can't even read other people's blogs because I get bored quickly. But since I found out I was having twins I wanted to journal my experience partially because I hoped it would help it all feel real. I have no idea if I'll keep up with the blog, or were this journey will lead, but I'll give writing it down a shot.
I had an OB appointment today. If I were to give it a grade it would be a C-. Dr G. is nice an professional and I think he really will do his best to make sure we are all healthy, but I didn't get the feeling he cares much about my feelings. I guess the world would say to me, "Well, why would he? That is not his job afterall." But in my mind he is a CARE-provider and I expected/hoped for a little more compassion.
I asked about monitoring and his response was, "You'll have to take the tour and ask the nurses there. I don't know. And I can't trump hospital policy anyway." Sigh.... It doesn't give me confidence when a doctor doesn't know the answer to something basic like that... but more realistically it doesn't give me confidence when they do know, but they pass the buck.
On the other hand, he seemed to think that it was likely that I would be delivering vaginally. He talked about how he wasn't concerned about Baby B breech extractions if that became an issue and talked about his history with delivering breech babies. That did help. He was really willing to talk about that openly and he has some solid experience with both twins and breeches.
I wish I didn't feel so stuck. I feel like I am between the rock and the hard place. The 'establishment' and all the unnecessary standard policies that have nothing to do with my health and everything to do with their convenience.... and the risk of something actually going wrong.
I just want personalized care. But there doesn't seem to be any to be found here.
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