Twin boys!

Well it is official. We had our ultrasound today and there are two little boys in there. I thought that I would have a hard time with it because I have wanted a girl so much but I feel a sense of peace and rightness to everything. I am sad about not having a daughter. I feel that Heavenly Father knew that if I had a girl this time that I would call my family 'complete' and wouldn't continue to consider adoption. Now, it is forefront on my mind. I have a daughter out there...I just need to find her and bring her to my home in God's time and His way.

As I think about raising all these boys I feel an increased sense of responsibility. I think I have taken it for granted up until now how serious my obligation is to raise these boys into honorable men. It is easy to forget that the little, dirty boy digging up your flowers is going to be a man someday and what kind of man he is molded into depends largely on how you love him and teach him. I have been having fun with my sons so far, but I haven't thought enough on my stewardship as it relates to their masculinity.

I am such a feminist and have spent a life time cultivating thoughts and theories about women's rights and yet here I am raising boys....honestly, could there be a better way? I have been blessed with an incredible power to shape a future husband and future father. What a gift. What a weight is on my shoulders.

I want to change my whole outlook and my whole home. I want to throw myself into this calling. I want to embrace this and begin a masculine oriented parenting style. And for those who may be shocked by that, please know you have to understand what I believe a 'real man' is. This has nothing to do with the color blue or pink, or even sports and the other stereotypes. This has to do with principles.

Yes, all people should cultivate the principles of honor, determination, honesty and sense of duty and discipline, but there is an uniquely-male take on this characteristics that I feel like I want to bring into sharper focus in our home.

I am grateful for all that I have been given. I am a mother of sons.

BUMP!

I've been feeling the babies move for sometime now, as early as 14 weeks, but now Troy got to feel them, or at least one of them too!

We were having a lazy morning, taking our time getting out of bed and he had his hand on my belly. I could feel the babies wiggle and would occasionally ask him, "Did you feel that one?" Always his answer was no. Then there was one particularly large BUMP right under his hand and his eyes just popped open and he looked at me. I didn't have to ask. I knew he'd felt it. Considering that I am only 17 weeks, I was surprised he was able to feel something so early on, but absolutely thrilled.